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Just some gossip... ladies, enjoy ^-^

old jokes:

Q: What do you call a chav in a box?
A: Innit.

>> Goalkeepers are the new drummers <<
        Russell Holt unlocks the key to a happy life

    When rock bands behaved like rock bands, it was
    always the drummers who were the pigs. Now that
    the bad behaviour baton has been picked up
    by footballers, it's the goalies who are the
    worst. Just a few weeks we brought you news of
    a video showing Aston Villa goalie Stefan
    Postma being given a good seeing to by his
    girlfriend wearing a huge strap-on.

    This week a set of photos is being chased by
    all the tabloids. They purportedly show West Brom
    keeper Russell Holt... sucking himself off. 

 >> May the Ford be with you <<
        Harrison stars in a special film

    Harrison Ford has just finished filming a
    thriller with Paul Bettany, The Wrong Element.

    Ford completely annoyed the crew during filming
    by looking to insist he was in every shot.

    To get their own back, the crew has made a
    special out-takes DVD splicing Harrison into
    every frame of the film, with all the other
    characters played by a crew member dressing
    up as everyone else.

 >> The look of love <<
        Johnny Razorlight's romantic patter

    Johnny, the singer from Razorlight to a fan:

    "You can't just give me that look and then
    not give me head!"

    She did... and tells us "he has a nice penis."

 >> Things to make you go hmmn <<
        George Galloway, Taliban, otters

    Leslie Big Brother is judging the Miss Blush Babe
    2005 lap dancing heat at Billie Rox Nightclub,
    Huddersfield ("The largest and best triple super
    club venue") this Saturday. Her rider includes
    "no cheap chocolate":
http://clubs.ukcn.com/clubs/desktopdefault.aspx?poid=119

    We reckon Roberto is for the chop this
    week. Oh, and here are Saskia's nawks:
http://tinyurl.com/broyl

    George Galloway porn-a-like:
http://oldje.com/images/set072/01.jpg

    Laugh at some Aussie ravers:
http://blogs.inthemix.com.au/Lissie/1712/

    An abandoned otter pup learned to survive
    against the odds on a diet of squid juice and
    sleeping in a playpen lined with
    SpongeBob SquarePants sheets:
http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-otter16.html

    If you've always wondered what to do with
    your phone on a night out:
http://www.tsaya.com/

    Preview of the Taliban musical:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/multimedia/taliban_broadway.mp3

>> Comfort for couch potatoes <<
        What to watch when winter comes

    LA has just played host to TV networks
    around the world eyeing up the new
    TV schedules. So what are we going to
    love next year? Popbitch picks:

    1. Everybody Hates Chris - the Wonder Years
    -style memoirs of Chris Rock.

    2. Kitchen Confidential - Darren Star (Sex &
    City, Melrose Place) semi-fictionalised
    has adapted Anthony Bourdain's book. Starring
    Sam from Freaks and Geeks, Xander from Buffy
    and Will from Alias.

    3. The Comeback
    Lisa Kudrow's reality-comedy hybrid has been
    slated in the States, but its bitter, clever
    portrayal of the painfully degrading
    career-arc of an aging sit-com star should
    fare better in Britain.

    4. Prison Break
    A prison designer gets a map of the prison
    tattooed on his body, and gets convicted
    of a crime so he can spring his wrongly-
    jailed brother. The break-out unfolds
    step-by-step, 24 style.

    5. My Name Is Earl
    Jason Lee plays a do-gooder hick in this
    year's best comedy show.


(FYI: On his arrival at BBC One Peter Fincham, the
new controller, took a look at what programmes
had been commission and axed many. One of
these? Strictly Come Darting - a Come Dancing
style series of professional-celebrity darts.
Come on Peter - this is the best programme
idea the beeb has had in years!)

>> Camping with Cruise <<
        Who's inside Tom's tent?

    On the set of War of the Worlds, Tom Cruise set up a Scientology tent, so members of the cast and crew could 'join' or get information on the religion.

    One member of the crew emailed director Steven Spielberg asking where the tents for the Jewish and Catholic religions were. He didn't get a reply.

>> Big Question <<
        What people are asking this week

    Which over-rated film director who recently
    dropped out of a big movie has an unsavoury
    reputation as a secret wife beater?

 >> May the Ford be with you <<
        Harrison stars in a special film

    Harrison Ford has just finished filming a
    thriller with Paul Bettany, The Wrong Element.

    Ford completely annoyed the crew during filming
    by looking to insist he was in every shot.

    To get their own back, the crew has made a
    special out-takes DVD splicing Harrison into
    every frame of the film, with all the other
    characters played by a crew member dressing
    up as everyone else.

>> Summer Lovin' <<
         Things to enjoy this month

    Now Summer is really here, Popbitch looks
    into its crystal ball and tells you what
    exciting things to look out for:

    1. Brad and Angelina are about to announce
    that they are a couple. Finally.

    2. The Faders' brilliant new single Jump.
    (Co written by singer Molly, Midge
    Ure's daughter). Listen:
http://www.thefaders.co.uk/site.php

    3. We'll see that David Beckham's
    new haircut is really an updated Bobby
    Charlton comb-over.

    4. More great girl-pop - Industrial
    Salt's Sugar Bomb Baby:
http://www.industrialsalt.com/music.html

    5. Gary Lineker in danger of losing
    his Mr Nice Guy image...

    6. We've been shouting about Kelly Clarkson's
    Since U Been Gone for months. It's here:
http://mp.aol.com/video.index.adp?mxid=1209305&_AOLFORM=w656.h395.p7.R1

    7. Diesel's U Music winner. The
    Previous two have been Mylo and Tom Vek:
http://www.diesel-u-music.com


>> Desperate Danan <<
        Sad tales of a failed swordsman

    Paul Danan clearly dreams of becoming a
    celebrated swordsman in the John Leslie mode.
    But reality keeps getting in the way.

uglyboy writes:
    "Seeing Paul Danan on TV has reminded me of
    a 911 party (remember them?) we were both at.

    "It was the night that Billie Piper got her
    first number one, Because I Want To.
    Billie arrived at the party and was having
    a couple of drinks. All of a sudden, she
    makes a grab for me saying, 'SAVE ME! Tell
    him you're with me!' I turn around, and
    there's Paul Danan drooling."


(FYI: Paul once went on a date with Melanie Sykes.
His car was broken so he got his mum to drive
them both to the restaurant. Mel didn't go
out with him again.)

 >> Snort my logo! <<
        Remembering Metallica's glory days

    What you won't see at a Coldplay gig...

    Before Metallica got into rehab and
    therapy on every stop on their tour they
    insisted on having "Metallica" spelled out
    with inch-thick lines of cocaine on a large
    mirror backstage, accompanied with little
    silver spoons so anyone who wanted some
    could help themselves.

>> Chart Predictions <<
        New entries for 26th June 2005

++ Number One
2PAC & ELTON Ghetto Gospel
* It's now almost nine years since Tupac died.
And here's another new track.

++ Top Ten
HARD-Fi Hard To Beat
BOBBY VALENTINO Slow Down
STEREOPHONICS Superman
MVP Roc Ya Body
MISSY ELLIOTT Lose Control

++ Top Twenty
THE SUBWAYS Rock And Roll Queen
50 CENT Just A Lil Bit
ERASURE Here I Go Impossible Again

++ Top Forty
DAMIEN RICE Unplayed Piano
BIZARRE Rockstar
LADYTRON Sugar
STEVE HARLEY & COCKNEY REBEL Make Me Smile


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